Photos from October 15

Thank you to those who remembered our little boy. Even if you didn't take a picture, it means the world to us.

International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Rememberance Day

Today we light a candle for our little angels that have gone too soon.

At 7:00 PM tonight, light a candle in honor of your angel or one for those who you know have lost a child.

Just this one small gesture means the world to us because it is knowing that there was a moment that they were remembered even though they are not here.
I will be praying and lighting candles for our angels.

Hugs to all tonight.

A Bereaved Parent's Wish List.

I wish my child hadn't died, I wish I had him back.

I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was important to you also.

If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child I wish you knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have allowed me to share my grief, I thank you for both.

I wish you wouldn't "kill" my child again by removing his pictures, or other remembrances from your home.

Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't shy away from me, I need you now more than ever.

I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but, I also want you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you would let me talk about my child, my favorite topic of the day.

I know you might pray for me often. I also know that my child's death pains you, too. I wish you would let me know those things through a phone call, a card, note, or a real big hug.

I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over in a short period of time. I wish you could understand that my grief will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day I die. Grief is a life long process.

I am working very hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child, and I will always grieve that he is dead.

I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or to "be happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate yourself.

I don't want to have a "pity party", but I do wish you would let me grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.

I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please be as patient with me as I am with you.

When I say "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.

I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness, and overwhelming sadness are all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn or irritable and cranky.

Your advice to "take one day at a time" is excellent advice, however, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.

Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.

I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died, a big part of me died with him. I am not the same person I was before my child died, and I will never be that person again.

I wish very much that you could understand - understand my loss and grief, my silence and my tears, my void and my pain.

....BUT…I pray daily that you will NEVER understand.

Copyright © 2008 - 2009 Compassionate Friends.

My Child's Name

Picture by Say It With Flowers

My Child's Name

The mention of my child's name

May bring tears to my eyes,

But it never fails to bring music to my ears

If you are really my friends,

Let me hear the beautiful music of his name.

It soothes my broken heart, and sings to my soul.

d Author Unknown d

Tybee Island

As I wonder how I will keep the memory of Lukas alive, it is family that remind me that we are not the only ones thinking of Lukas.

The following photos by Carolyn Yee

Please Pray.

We participate in "Pray for Me... Pray for Others" on the Riggs Family Blog. Check out their blog to add your prayer request. Join a community of friends who care about you, and hope you will care about them.

I would like to share this link. If you'd like to have a prayer said for someone, you can enter it here and also enter one for yourself. You don't have to enter any website links.

Hilda & Andre and family you are all in my prayers. May God continue to bless you this coming week with a happy healthy baby boy.

Beautiful Aren't They?

I have met some amazing women via Blogger. It is them who have brought me peace in times when it has been hard. Here is another picture of Angel's Wings for Lukas made by Lea. I can not thank her enough for thinking of our little boy. They are beautiful.